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Monday, September 18, 2006

9/18/2006 05:04:00 PM Y

Post title :
♥ You'll never know the real me.

[x]: Pensive :[x]
I thought everything for me would be going on smoother after that 3 months of tears and sadness.
I never wanted to hurt anyone nor be hurt by someone else.
I thought I'm the one feeling the pain alone
I thought I can live on happily
I thought I could get going..

So many 'thought's I once had.
I finally realised..

I was kinda down when the one after Gene left me too.
I could say, he's more like a big brother to me
Teaching me life and helping me grow.
Words from his mouth are so meaningful that everytime they'd just struck me.
After him, I thought I have grew to be more sensible.
I thought I could handle things better from then on.
I thought I could manage my relationships well..
I thought i thought..
Again, all these 'thought's I had, prove me in utter wrong.
What have I done to implicate so many people?
Hurting them one by one.
Flirtacious.. Bitch.. Slut.. Villainous.. sinful.. mean.. cruel.. immoral..
Whatever you want to describe me, I accept it.
I face it with courage.
Even if one day you would to see me on the streets
Walk up to me and give me a big, tight slap,
I would say no more.

Tears form as crystals and rolled down whenever I hurt someone too.
I do feel.. I do feel the sadness and how hurt they might be..
I had it too, and I know, no one would ever wanted it too.. I really know it..
But.. in this erratic world, I was blinded somehow.
My visions were blurred, obstructing every bits of certainty I had ahead.
I can't be more real in this fake world
I don't wanna live no more.
I can't be lying for long
My heart can't take it anymore
I had no more reasons to hide.
I fear for every tomorrow.

My friends said my life is action-packed.
They said it was so much mre exciting and interesting.
My life surrounds around good sisters and laughters.
But could anyone see the sadness behind those smiles?
Could anyone feel the heart within breaking down?
Could anyone see the tiredness of the brain in it functioning?
Could anyone feel the soul in it weeping?
I had enough. I wanna run away from my fate.

how can I continue embracing this world I live in that seems far too complicated.
Isn't it simplified by people around me recently?
Why is it that I'm wrong again?
Why is it that everything's coming back again?
I know how bad and mean I am to hurt fragile hearts.
I know they couldn't take it too.
But I simply have no ideas too.
The resentment I felt.
These guilts..
Save me too.. Or just kill me..
Seeing the me now.. hurting and hurting and hurting..
Am I that murderer?
Is that me reflected on the mirror I stand in front of?
Why am I such a girl.. I'm breaking down..

I need Lincoln now.. He's my listening ear. One that I could pour all problems to. Now he've book in, I could no longer see him and talk things face to face.
He can't be there always like he did in the past..
Lincoln, I do feel tired at times..
I'm tired to face reality.. what should I do..? ='(







thatGIRL



W A Y N E - NingNing
 Take Me For Whom I Portrayed To Be.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.

I'm the only witness
and the only person who can judge my life.

This is my blog so SCRAM if you hate it.


herCRIES



I don't wanna be COMPARED no more!

I wanna earn lotsa $$$

I wanna marry HIM and have his KIDS

I wanna live on my own - preferbly with my Boy

I wanna be RESPECTED

I wanna shop like a Rich Lady

I WANT SNOW GLOBES!

I WANT A SET OF SEVEN DWARFS!

I WANT BLACK n WHITE DOMINO SET!


PEACE

MY Baby BOY - GlennHoCjinXieng




I prayed on that silent night for someone to share my life..and there you are..

Life is never gonna be the same ever since you entered into my life..

Obstacles that might come in our way, I believe we'll pull it through together

Vows and promises I made to you.. I swear they'll be true..

Ever since I have fallen so deep in love with you, I know I can't resist to love you more each day.

U are my future.. my love.. my ONLY one..

My Precious GIRLs :

EefennieBOYFRIEND, TracyGIRLFRIEND, MichelleGIRLFRIEND, PearlDEARIE, ReginaLOVER, Yuki, XiaoTingMEIMEI

PISS


game ADDICTS

people who BACK THEIR WORDS

big time SELFISH people

people who go for FACE and FIGURE

people who ALWAYS loves to JUDGE others
( occasional gossips are fine =D )

BRANDS SIAO

theLYRICS

微微笑的看你越是认真就越让人心疼
街头那盏路灯仿佛在笑我愚笨
没什么能做但我比谁都真诚
泡一杯苦茶陪伴你到夜深

你知不知道你总有一种很可爱的独特
让我充满勇气抵抗冬天的寒冷
怎样做才会完美像个男人
喝一杯苦茶温暖你的体温

不用等你开口先说我爱你
在那之前想对你说我愿意
你不必问你也不必等
这一刻就值得爱到永恒

我该如何让你明白我爱你
在那之后你点头说我愿意
想照顾你想守护着你
这一刻只想把你抱紧

你知不知道你也有一种很可爱的天真
大男孩的口吻魅力加到一百分
怎样做才会完美像个男人
喝一杯苦茶温暖你的体温

虽然永远太不可能
少了你的完整
两个对的人奇迹就能发生

这一刻只想把你
抱紧
☆...

herESCAPE



DARDAR


EefennieBOYFRIEND


XiaoTingMEIMEI


Yoshiko


VirneigeJIEJIE


PearlDEARIE


ReginaLOVER


MIYA


JoanneDASAO


SiokMin


SzeRui


XueQi


Evangeline


The FOOTSTEPS

♥ July 2006
♥ August 2006
♥ September 2006
♥ October 2006
♥ November 2006
♥ December 2006
♥ January 2007
♥ February 2007
♥ March 2007
♥ April 2007
♥ May 2007
♥ June 2007
♥ July 2007
♥ August 2007
♥ September 2007
♥ October 2007
♥ November 2007

theSOUND