♥ You'll never know the real me.

[8.40am] Tuesday12th June 2007

Everything kind of ended. It's this date at around 8 am early this morning. A bad wake up call. Everything stopped on this 157th day. I can't control my tears. Though I decided to let go, there are still so much that I wanna tell him.. Is it too late? If so, all I wanna say for the last time is.. "I Love You". My life for this short 5 months has been beautified by you.

Will he ever realise how hard it was to let go of him? My heart aches, my tears fell, I'm tearing apart, I'm breaking down. It's not like I could just get any anaesthetic to numb myself! It's all real this time. I tried to salvage. I wanted to hold on to you. But again he told me that he is tired of everything. Being with him is hard I admit. I needa understand him real lots and I needa be able to 体谅 him. But I suppose, it's really hard on him too to always try to convince me of his love towards me bahs. I'm sorry that I am always doubting. I'm really sorry.. But just to let you know, I felt your love.. and I know it's for real too. You loved me faithfully and truthfully. I am thankful to have you afterall..

You wanted me to be happy, told me to drink plenty of water and take good care of myself. I will my dear. I hope you will too.

I requested earlier on for the ring you're wearing (Our couple ring) if you don't want it anymore. But surprisingly you said you'll continue wearing it. I am happy. And for once, I thought there might be a chance of us getting back together. But I know.. it's impossible ='(

Should I be calling you Jeff now? It sounds so wierd to me. Can I choose to still call you hubby? (I know I can't). Everything ended. I should stop holding back right? It's YOU that I smiled and cried for.

You're my favourite hello yet hardest ... goodbye.

My friends, I think I'll be alright. Please be by my side like you people always did.

I guess I should be happy..